Cars - Do them Beautiful, please?

All I want car makers to do is to make beautiful cars. Alfa always seem able to do it (igonre the Arno), as does Jaguar.

To my mind cars reflect their national heritage. Mercs always seem to be missing something - a turret. BMW's - three autocannons, one firing through the engine. Fiat - the best small cars for the people on the planet. Alfa - as stated above, cramp inducing gorgeousness. Ferrari - gigolos in waved hair and reflecting sunglasses. Audi - VW Golf's and Passats in party frocks. Renault - no nickers. Any Amercan car - a personal drive in burger maker in the dash board. Toyota - Suchi on wheels. Volvo/Saab - No sense of humour (well, to be fair I loved the old Saabs and the pre-boxy Volvos). Rolls Royce - All that was wrong with Empire. Porsche (only the pre 1990's 911 and the race cars) - all that is right with Germany. And Jaguar - sexiness, in a particularly English way. The enthusiatsic and subtle abandon of the vicars attractive daughter. Slightly rounded in the hips, emphasising that peculaliarly English Rose voluptuousness. And a racing heritage that no-one can deny.

Ask yourself, which motor company now tries to produce and succeeds in producing beautiful cars? They all seem to try to be Damian Hirst's on wheels. Except Jaguar. Jaguar has had an awful time and battled through the motor wars with poor equipment, waiting for its Spitfire MK IX moment. Creating a machine with looks and engineering that can take on the best. Now, I know that the XF divides opinion but really, in a true beauty contest who comes close? The XJ, older looking but aluminium and slim - a sort of Joanna Lumley of cars. XK - a budget Aston?

So there you have it. Please Mr carmaker - make them beautiful.